Saturday, August 30, 2008

Wind Down With Some Convention Comedy

Its been a crazy week for political bloggers. The madness of Denver meant late nights and frenzied posting due to the rapid development of events. Now I think we should wind down with some classic convention comedy, most of which is at old man McCain's expense. But its just so easy. He turned 72 today. If elected he will be three years older than Reagan was when he got elected. If he serves two terms he will be 80 on completion of his second. That's old in any man's language. So lets begin with a famous clip from family guy known as the "John McCain experience".

Below is a selection of quotes (compiled by Daily Kos) from well known comedians commenting on events of the last few days.

"Michelle Obama said she's been in love with Barack ever since he took her on their first date and bought her ice cream. Isn't that sweet? Meanwhile, John McCain's wife Cindy says she's been in love with McCain ever since he hit her over the head with a club and dragged her back to his cave."
---Conan O'Brien
"And now comes proof that McCain has learned to use a computer, because evidently, he has plagiarized from the internets. Congressional Quarterly reported this week that John McCain may have copied some facts in a recent speech on the Georgian crisis from Wikipedia. I think it should have been obvious when he referred to the country's leader as 'President 404 Error: File Not Found.'"
---Stephen Colbert
Obama chose Joe Biden as his running mate. Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi praised Biden, calling him the "full package." Now he’s getting phone calls from Senator Larry Craig.
---Jay Leno
"[Michelle Obama] must prove she loves America. As opposed to Republicans, who everyone knows love America...they just hate half the people living in it."
---Jon Stewart
"McCain and Obama are, as you probably know, ideologically speaking, they are completely different nominees. For example, one offers you hope, and the other offers you a dish of hard candy."
---David Letterman
"The night’s big event was Obama’s speech, in front of 75,000 enthusiastic supporters and eight confused Broncos season ticket holders."
---Jimmy Kimmel

Gubu-World would like to wish John McCain a very happy 72nd birthday. This video is for him.

Earlier today Daily Kos posted the line below and invited suggestions

Barack Obama is to John McCain as _____ is to ________.

Here are some of the best

Barack Obama is to John McCain as...

as Lando Calrissian is to Emperor
as Jay-Z is to Vanilla Ice.
as a roller coaster is to a nap.
as Superman is to Grumpy Old Men.
as Today is to Yesterday.
as new hotness is to old and busted.
as Surprise birthday party is to a funeral.
as a Wii is to shuffleboard.
as expanding prosperity is to expanding prostate.
as the glass is half full to the glass is half empty.
as the Terminator is the to the Terminex guy.
as the Wire is to JAG.
as a PhD is to a GED.
as indoor plumbing is to a chamber pot.
as Michael Phelps is to Mike Wallace.
as superman is to Mr. Magoo.
as the Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces is to Commander-in-Chief of the Arm Chair.

Barack Obama is to John McCain...

as a CAT scan is to bloodletting.
as the iPhone is to a tin can and string.
as Alec Baldwin is to Daniel Baldwin.
as Robin Hood is to a robber baron.
as orange juice is to metamucil.
as Groundhog Day is to Osmosis Jones.
as Sears is to Reobucks.
as Electric Mail ("e-mail") is to the pony express.
as Jet Blue is to the old union carbide.
as John F. Kennedy is to Richard M. Nixon.
as G.O.A.T. cheese is to musty, rotten old cheese.
as the next President is to the next runner up.
as Ronald Reagan in 1980 is to Ronald Reagan in 1988.
as Prozac is to Ambien.
as my new bicycle is to my jalopy.
as my favorite cousin is to my crazy uncle.
as "yes we can" is to "get off my lawn!"
as arugula is to cabbage.

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